I have it on good authority that compromise is the key to any healthy relationship. You restrain your impulse to drink directly from the milk carton because you know your partner is a germaphobe. And they willingly drive for two hours with you on a sunny Sunday morning so you can spend the day antique hunting in the countryside when you know they would much rather be…anywhere else. The more balanced the compromises, the happier each party, and the stronger the bond. When compromises don’t feel equal, we start asking questions.
Compromise becomes a very real focal point for many relocating couples, particularly those in dual-career relationships. Naturally, there are many trade-offs to navigate when moving for a job, such as home size and location, community, proximity to family, amenities, places of worship, transportation, and health services.
When both partners contribute to the household, the decision to move should be easier if it’s financially beneficial to the family unit as a whole.
For a long time, in many male-female households, this decision to relocate was dictated by the male breadwinner, but statistics support that women have made big gains in the workforce!
- The share of women earning as much as or more than their husbands has tripled over the past 50 years, indicating more women are primary breadwinners.
- Women now make up 51% of the U.S. college-educated workforce, according to 2023 data.
- About 35% of workers in the 10 highest-paying occupations are women, up from 13% in 1980. These jobs typically earn over $100,000 a year and include physicians, lawyers, and dentists.
- In several cities, women under 30 are out-earning their male counterparts, showing that women who are mobile and willing to relocate can achieve significant financial success.
With a more level playing field between men and women when it comes to earnings, one would assume that the number of male trailing spouses (or those compromising their careers to relocate) must be much higher. Not quite.
A recent study shows that couples are still more likely to relocate for a job when it’s a male partner making a career change. You may be thinking, “Not exactly groundbreaking.” But look at the results and how deep the data goes. The study looked at data from two countries, and it showed that couples are more likely to go through with a move to improve the man’s earnings—even in cases when the woman’s career stands to benefit more by moving. When the initial factors are considered – the decision to have children or not, geographic differences in job opportunities, and non-wage amenities that make up for salary differences – the data confirmed that the move benefits the male’s career.
What makes this study unique is that it goes beyond the initial set of data to uncover information behind decision-making. Despite the advancements made to take inclusive measures within mobility programs, the driver behind an employee and their partner accepting a relocation is rooted in gender norms.
Here’s where it gets even more interesting. Following the move, the woman’s earnings were significantly reduced in both salary and impact over time. The study revealed that women typically face a 15% reduction in earnings after a move, with losses persisting for at least two years.
I’ll say it again: Two years! Most repayment agreements in programs mirror the same length of time, loosely conveying the company’s cost to recover the cost of a move or assignment. To overcome failed relocations, extending the repayment terms is not going to address the loss to the career or the gap in the resume that the spouse is experiencing after two years.
Yes, the modern family takes on far more forms than the male-female relationship covered in this research, but the bottom line is that gender roles play a strong factor in the decision to accept a move. This study also highlights the value of advice from our Counselors and supplier partners when we discuss the employee experience. It’s about introducing the most impactful benefits to the entire family at the start of the move, resulting in a positive outcome for both individuals. So that at the end of the day, even if one party may have made more compromises, everyone feels confident in the final decision.
This isn’t the end of the conversation; I’m only getting started! Stay tuned for part 2 as we look at solutions that companies can consider enabling spouses to nurture their careers while caring for their families.
Sources:
Moving to Opportunity, Together | NBER
Who Matters More in a Move: You or Your Spouse? – WSJ
Gender Pay Gap Statistics In 2025 – Forbes Advisor
Young women earn more than young men in several U.S. cities | Pew Research Center
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